whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
