Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
