At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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