My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
