and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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