The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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