I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
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