I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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