Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
