I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
