I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
there is glitter all over my balls
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