Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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