yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
