I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
