I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm always down for nudity.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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