Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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