I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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