Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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