when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
