i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
