areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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