You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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