Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
