Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
