I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
