Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
