I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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