that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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