I don't usually arrange sex via text message
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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