The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
