I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
