We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
