I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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