I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
