STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Everyone says I win the strip club
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
