I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
