but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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