idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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