The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
