I'm eating all of the evidence.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
