Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It's just like the Real World with babies
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
