Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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