i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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