just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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