Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
