Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
