stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
