there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
