oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I have aggressive nipples.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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