I got chris browned last night
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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