Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
