I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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