Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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