I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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