apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
