i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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