come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I party with great urgency now.
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