you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
