end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
